November 4, 2011

Novus Diluculo

Viva la 2011.

I blame Mary


(Download)

June 28, 2007

New Card #10: Rock'Em Sock'Em Swap'Em

Count: 1 per Mega Deck, Optional 0 in Normal Deck

Value: Undetermined

Card: The Rock'Em Sock'Em Swap'Em card is created from an additional card, and is not taken from the existing deck. When thrown, the player with the highest number of cards and the player with the lowest number of cards (regardless of which player threw the Rock'Em Sock'Em Swap'Em) are required to duke it out in robotic fisticuffs; the winner receives the hand with fewer cards.


In a situation where multiple players have hands with the same amount of cards, a quick round of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" is played to decide who must face off in the Terrordome. In RPS situations, the winner of the "most cards" deck battle gets the opportunity to win a smaller pile, whereas the loser of the "least cards" deck is forced to put his/her prized few cards up for grabs.

Author: Bobby FTW, Lady Mary

Accompanying Imagery: A bunch of people standing around yelling at toys.

Status: Authorized 6/27/07

June 27, 2007

New Rule #5: Tall Boy Max

Rule: No more 40's.

Author: Sean

Accompanying Imagery:
Shaming La One
Status: Authorized 6/27/07 by an emergency session of the Decorum Oversight Committee

May 22, 2007

SITE NEWS

In keeping with Viva la ONE's attempt to blow your minds with a multimedia online experience, we've added to the site a sonic masterpiece: "The Art of the Deal."

You may have asked yourself, "What does it like when cards were dealt among five players and the HOTUS?" Well, we've created an in-studio simulation to attempt to accurately replicate that experience, so that now you may know the glory.

And knowing is half the battle.

April 22, 2007

Terms: Fistful of Clover

"Fistful of Clover" is a term discovered by Sean Landis which is used to describe a player's hand consisting solely of green cards.

Because of the secretive nature of cards being held, this term will most often be used by the other players whilst wagering guesses at the remaining cards in a player's hand, or by commentators during televised play.

Authors: Aaron, Camp Jinx

Accompanying Imagery:


Status: Unauthorized

April 8, 2007

Where in the World is Sean Landis?

Landis, seen here in his latest disguise attempt.

KIEV TO CAROLINA - What began as a rescheduled Uno night ended up providing for the creation of a detective agency whose sole mission is to locate the whereabouts of missing Extreme ONE founding father Sean Landis.

“Sean didn’t return any of our phone calls,” said fellow member Aaron Mason. “I can only assume he’s traveling around the globe stealing rhyming historical artifacts and geographical non-sequiturs.”

Landis has been proving difficult for the Extreme ONE team to pin down. The agency has released a statement saying their reports "have him anywhere from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe, Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back," and that "there’s also this disguise issue.”

But, according to Pope Vince, Landis’s attempts at masking his appearance have all been futile: “His disguises don’t fool me for a second. Look at those black gloves!”

Since last Thursday, the members of Extreme ONE have formed an a capella group, The Gumshoes, in hopes that it will entice Landis back into game play. Their debut album, “The Warrant,” is due to drop on April 29.

March 24, 2007

Terms: to Tanya

The slang term "to Tanya" means to heckle someone who has recently met with discouraging circumstances during the game.

More specifically, it is used to torment men emotionally with phrases like "Suck It" when the Chuck Norris card is thrown, further frustrating the contemplative silence.

Authors: Tanya, et al.

Accompanying Imagery:


Status: Authorized 3/20/07

March 21, 2007

Terms: Kissing the Linda

Players are said to be "Kissing the Linda" when they find themselves on the business end of a Train Wreck. This term is based on a player's expression when he/she realizes that they can't produce a passing Draw Card.

It was coined because of its similarity to the expression someone would make if he or she was in a game of Spin the Bottle, and they where chosen to kiss a person of whom the sex could not clearly be determined - someone referred to as "The Linda."

Authors: Aaron, Big V, Sean

Accompanying Imagery: Questionably Deep Voice, Strange Closeness, Gym Membership

Status: Authorized 3/20/07

March 16, 2007

New Rule #5: Global Thermonuclear War

For use only in Mega-Deck play, where there are 2 A-Bomb cards.

Rule: After a player throws an A-Bomb, another player has the opportunity to declare Global Thermonuclear War, and throw a 2nd A-Bomb in retaliation out of turn. The Train Wreck continues between the two warring players ONLY, until the loser cannot throw another Draw card.

A player can never be forced into Global Thermonuclear War. GTW only takes place when the 2nd A-Bomb is thrown with nuclear intentions, and both A-Bombs must be touching on the discard pile.

It is possible to have 2 A-Bombs out of sequence in one Train Wreck. Also, if Player 1 throws an A-Bomb, and the next sequential player's (Player 2) only other Draw card is the other A-Bomb, then Player 2 has the option to hold his/her A-Bomb, and draw the appropriate amount of cards. This move is called "Pussing Out."

Note: Not even Blessed Cards can stop Global Thermonuclear War; it only ends in destruction.

Authors: Aaron, Big V

Accompanying Imagery:


Status: Authorized 3/16/07

March 14, 2007

Terms: The Double Dutch

Definition: The Double Dutch is a slang term that describes when a player faces the bone-chilling Skip Haunt, but the player after him throws a Reverse, skipping the haunted player immediately, thus removing the curse before it has time to affect the player emotionally.

Accompanying Imagery: Demons Being Exercised, Children Playing

New Rule #4: The Royal Flush

Rule: The Royal Flush occurs when a player throws the Royal Pair (Chuck Norris & Margaret Thatcher) to go out, and then finishes off with the A-Bomb. If the game is being played with points, the player who threw the Royal Flush automatically receives the points it takes to win that game and 200 additional points to start when he or she begins again.

Because of the slim chance of this hand actually occurring in my lifetime, I am willing to say that the person who throws it will never have to shuffle again in his/her life.

Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: The Nuclear Holocaust Scene from Terminator 2

Status: Unauthorized

New Rule #3: The Royal Pair

Rule: The Royal Pair is when Chuck Norris and Margaret Thatcher are thrown together by the same player. In this situation, Chuck Norris and Margaret Thatcher become a single Wild that allows a player to throw and additional card on top of it. (Keep in mind that the two cards themselves do not act as a wild, and they must match the color of a preceding card.)

This is the only situation so far in which a player can use a Blessed card in order to go out on UNO. When the Royal Pair is thrown in this way you are still bound to say UNO before putting down your last card. If all three cards are thrown at once in a fit of excitement, the standard UNO draw rules apply.

Note: This can also lead to the most powerful hand yet imagined, the Royal Flush.

Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: World Domination, Strategic Political Power Plays, Not Sexual Intercourse

Status: Unauthorized

New Card #9: Margaret Thatcher

Count: 1 per Mega Deck, Optional 0 in Normal Deck

Value: Undetermined

Card: Card must be the same number and color as the Chuck Norris. The Margaret Thatcher functions in a similar way as the Chuck Norris in that when thrown, every female has to draw two. Play resumes as normal after cards are drawn.


Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: Conservative Party Politics, Big Hair

Status: Unauthorized

March 13, 2007

Pope Vince Unimpressed with Great Adventure’s Latest Offering



















An uninterested Pontiff longs to fill his empty hands with the Game of Kings.

EXIT 7A, NJ - Extreme One figurehead and Father of the UNOtarian Church Pope Vince looked, according to witnesses, “pretty bored” with his debut ride on Six Flag’s newest roller coaster The Xtreme Scrambler.

“When I saw that the ride’s name had extreme in it, I naturally assumed it was going to live up to the expectation,” Pope Vince said, “but all it did was dissapoint. It was nowhere near the thrill of a Draw 18 Train Wreck, a Chuck Norris, or even a Skip Haunt.”

When asked if he was ever going to return and give the park another try, Pope Vince seemed optimistic, citing that “that Coke 2-fer is too good to pass up,” and that “one of those safari monkeys took a wiper off, and I’ll be damned if he’s getting away with that.”

March 11, 2007

New Card #8: The Underground Railroad

Count: 1 per Mega Deck, Optional 0 in Normal Deck

Value: Undetermined

Card: Created from a pre-existing Skip card. When this Blessed Skip is thrown, each player then has the opportunity to place a card face down back into the draw pile. This Blessed card also functions as a Wild and can be thrown on any color or number. The Underground Railroad card functions as a two card drop for the thrower and follows the same rules as most other Blessed cards in that the player can not use them strategically to go out on UNO (see: Stumbling Monk). At the end of the turn, the player that precedes the thrower uses his card to determine number and color of card to continue.


Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: Wading in Water, Low-Swinging Chariots

Status: Unauthorized

March 9, 2007

New Card #7: Chuck Norris

Count: 1 per Mega Deck, Optional 0 in Normal Deck

Value: Undetermined

Card: Created from a high number card, the Chuck Norris is the first gender specific card. When a Chuck Norris is thrown, every man at the table has to live up to the standard of manliness that Chuck Norris sets by drawing 2 cards in silence (except for the thrower, who is acting in the stead of Chuck Norris). Since the Chuck Norris Card is created from a number card, kudos will be given to the man who doubles that number in push-ups. I hear that Chuck Norris single-handedly saved the West from the Communists. After the cards are drawn, play resumes as normal.

This card works hand in hand with its female counterpart, the Margaret Thatcher. When used together, the situation might occur which is known as a Royal Flush.


Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: Roundhouse Kicks, Tight Jeans, Tears that Cure Cancer

Status: Unauthorized

New Card #6: The Hand of the Unknown Soldier (HOTUS)

Count: 1 per Mega Deck, Optional 0 in Normal Deck

Value: Undetermined

Card: It has become a custom to deal a hand to one of the employees of the places in which we frequent. Created from a pre-existing Wild card, this mystery hand is known as the Hand of the Unknown Soldier. The HOTUS hand has a parallel card in the deck which allows a participant to switch his/her hand for the hand which is steeped in mystery. If the player decides that his/her trade for the mystery hand is not in his/her best interests, the participant may decline the trade, and use it as a standard Wild. If the mystery hand is selected the participant must still choose the color for the next round of play.

Note: If the HOTUS card is dealt into the Hand of the Unknown Soldier, it shall be called Destiny.

Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: That scene in Forrest Gump when Bubba dies in Forrest's arms and Forrest commits to fulfilling Bubba's dreams.

Status: Unauthorized

March 4, 2007

A Modest Proposal

What began as an intimate game among friends is quickly developing into what some are calling “the new Game of Kings.” Spearheaded by Vince, first-born son of Barrington, suggestions for modifying the card game UNO have been seen around the internet, and I think it’s time we lay the ink to parchment.

There is a documented beginning, a Magna Carta, if you will; a foundation has been laid with talks of “A-bombs” and fortunes reversed, but where do we go from here? I’m proposing a meeting of the minds to draft a new ConstitUNO.

Vince has been creating such jewels lately, I would hate to see them lost to the ravages of time. The ConstitUNO would preserve our ideas as well as establish an authority on whether or not a rule or card has been deemed standard for localized play. We could standardize the modification of cards, establish a world-wide rating system, and maybe even provide for the election of officials (Pope Vince?).

We could use this very website to display the ConstitUNO and make known our decrees. This site could also provide a forum to anyone who might want to suggest any amendments. We could then hold council (ConclUNO?), and decide whether or not to ratify any submissions.

So, what say you? Yea or Nay? Do you have what it takes? Will you go WILD for UNO Freedom, or will you REVERSE it back to the terrorists? Only we can make this game great, and I believe that a ConstitUNO is our first step towards greatness.

Where is the Uno?

Most Uno competitions are held weekly (I want to say Tuesday) at The Three Beans Coffee House in Haddonfield, NJ at 8:00. Drop us a line to get directions.

Adoption of Rules

There are to be no valid card alterations that do not bare the signature of at least two game members. If a certain Add-on Card proves to be standard in localized play the card can be decorated with a silk screen or stain technique. This marking serves as the two signature validation and will be called "Pricing" after Lady Mary who came up with the idea.

New Rule #2: The Three-Card Toss (Training Wheels)

Rule: It is common knowledge that you can match a number regardless of color with a pair of identical cards that add up to that number. For example, the equation 2yellow + 2yellow = 4yellow, and as such can be thrown on a 4green. A Three Card Toss can be represented by the equation (1yellow + 1yellow) + 2yellow = 4yellow, and can be thrown on a 4green.

Authors: Sir Sean, Big V

Accompanying Imagery: Thumb-Sucking, Father-Daughter Bonding

Status: Unauthorized

Note: The Three Card Toss has not yet been perfected and will take some time to polish in order to avoid abuse.

New Rule #1: The Train Wreck

Rule: This situation can arise when a Draw Card, up to and including the A-bomb, is thrown and a contestant answers the threat by throwing another Draw Card. This allows him or her to escape the draw and pass the burden onto the next player who is given the same opportunity. If the player cannot produce a Draw Card he or she will suffer with the combined blast of the total Draw number. This makes the Draw 2 a more multi-dimensional card.

Authors: Lady Mary, Sir Robert

Accompanying Imagery: Metal Gears & Carnage

Status: Authorized 2/27/07

Terms: Redemption

Definition: A redemption occurs when a Skip Haunt is unleashed and the vexed avoids a card draw because of his benched status.

Accompanying Imagery: Back-lit Holy Pose, Angelic Music

New Card #5: The Stumbling Monk (Friar Tuck)

Count: 1 per 2-deck mega-deck or 1 per deck

Value: 75 points (unauthorized)

Card: When thrown, two cards of a single color can be dropped along with it. This card functions as a blessed Wild Card in that it does not have to follow the prior color-number sequence.

Peace Be to You
Additional Uses: The Friar can also be used to block a Train Wreck. If this situation arises the blessing is carried around full circle. Each player has the opportunity to drop two same suit cards. The colors of the blessed suit can change if a contestant can match one of the previous numbers thrown. This is meant to produce a temporary armistice and cannot be used to go out on Uno (including the thrower). Only number cards can be thrown in a state of armistice. This allows the players time to emotionally deal with intense game-play.

Author: Big V

Accompanying Imagery: Drunken Peace

Status: Authorized 3/6/07

The Religious Alcoholic

New Card #4: The Swamp Card

Count: 1 per 2-deck mega-deck or 1 per deck

Value: 75 points (unauthorized)

Card: When a Swamp Card is thrown every contestant (excluding thrower) is caught in the bog and has to drop their most valuable card. The most valuable card, however, cannot include The Stumbling Monk (Friar Tuck) or the A-bomb.

Regional Variant
: The Swamp Card could also fit into the situational category. A Swamp Card in this way could could mean a card that has been kissed or licked to the point of dampness. Although it is far more likely that a card will be kissed in game-play for good luck, we recognize and appreciate other cultures in which licking to the point of dampness would produce the same fortuitous effect. If a card becomes wet because of hazardous terrain (which can occur in a bog, filthy French prison, or diner) a Swamp Card situation is also likely to arise.

Authors
: Lady Mary, Big V

Accompanying Imagery: Slow Movement

Status
: Unauthorized